Tis the Season for....

Friday, December 12, 2008

Depression for many people. I am one of those people that literally fight it off this time of year. I am a Prozac lifer. My anthem...."Give me Prozac or Give me Death" (or others around me might die...bwahahaha...just kidding...mostly)
Anyway, I have decided to talk about this here, in hopes that it will help others and me to make it through. Depression affects people different ways, for me I do two things. I sleep and I sit at my desk thinking I should do something. I TRY to do stuff, but I just don't have it in me to pull it off, so I read email, attempt answering (with varying degrees of success) and play games (Spider anyone?)
Well, I finally recognized what was going on and decided I was going to kick off the depression (so I laid down and took a nap to think about how). Almost 4 plus weeks into this 'funk' I have had a few moments where I would say, okay, this is it, I'm going to make it through this time. (then I'd play a game and decide just one more game and then I'll do something) Finally, I MADE myself get out of bed, shower and dress in street clothes (pj's are my standard depression dress) and I went to run some errands...my list was quite long, because of hibernating for nearly a month and while at the bank, I looked up and a saw a sign that was looking for volunteers to ring the bell for Salvation Army. Now I had thought about volunteering for the last few weeks, but the phone book was ALL THE WAY in the other room, so I never made the call. Well, the phone number was right there, so while my deposit was being made, I made the call and volunteered to ring the bell at Hobby Lobby for 2 hours one day and 2 hours another. Well guess what? I did both of those volunteer times and after both of them, I felt a little lighter (in my heart, not weight...because, oh ya, I eat when I'm depressed and I've gained another 10 lbs...oh well, more of me to love) I was able to come home and get a few things accomplished that I needed to.
Well, I'm not home free yet, I can still feel the pull and call of my pillow, but I feel like I'm making steps towards functionality again. This is a good thing, because I have a bunch of tutorials that I want to get done and I'm getting excited about it again, so that means you all will be having new stuff soon.
Thanks for sticking with me while I have my yearly (sometimes bi-yearly) fight through depression.

If you are fighting or have depression...go see your doctor and get help. I am so thankful for the medication that I have (I'm actually bi-polar...hereditary..thanks dad) Most of the time it is enough to keep me on an even keel, but I do have times when it is more of a fight. But knowing there is help, helps me.

On another note, it is the season for love, kindness and giving. Don't forget to love yourself, be kind to yourself and give to yourself this season....sometimes we get so busy doing for everyone else that we forget to take care of ourselves....

Love you all and I hope you have a wonderful Holiday Season.


Katie said...

I totally understand what you mean. I've been fighting it off this year too. Around this time of year last year I crashed hard and I'm worried it will happen this year, but I'm making it. Thanks for sharing this...it does help.

Anonymous said...

Dear Klo,
Thanks for sharing such a personal side of yourself. You are always sharing your art talent and now you are giving another piece of yourself. I think that is an awesome gift this holiday season. We each have our own person struggles but rarely bare them to the world. Hang in there honey! Catch some rays of sunlight and stay in contact. We love you, too.

Diane said...

You are such an inspiration to so many people. I always wonder how you find the time to do all that you do. Now you share with all, the demons that you fight with. Lean on those who love you and you will make it through. We all suffer from something, you just chose to share your suffering, which will make you stronger. Keep up the GREAT work that you share with all of us. You are in my prayers.
P.S. Great job on Scrapbook Memories. Your the bomb!

Edie van den Ordel said...

Kloey, just want to let you know I am here for you sweetie! You are such an amazing and talented person, and a wonderful friend! Things may be tough right now but they will get better. Just take it one day at a time, its all about baby steps. The fact that you shared this with everyone is AMAZING and like the poster said above, its going to only make you stronger. LOVE YOU!

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing all that you share with us.

Some interesting studies are being done related to adding B complex supplements to your diet to help. And I read something about sunshine being really helpful.

Take care and continue to find things that make you happy.

Pandora said...

Hi Klo

At this time of year in England, fighting SAD syndrome and Bi-polar is harder than other times. I have the SAD syndrome and my brother both Bi-Polar and SAD which makes it harder for him.

Thank you for all your efforts and they are appreciated hugely, rarely do blogs make me cry, yet yours touched my heart in such a way that I am grabbing the tissues even as I type.

Please know that your inspiring tutorials have helped me through the doubting, and the possibly I have spent a great deal of money on a machine I may not use.

Your last paragraph about loving yourself is the most important, and I hope that you love yourself enough, to treat yourself with the same love and understanding that you give to others.

Have exactly the kind of day you choose, were it my choice, it would be filled with love, understanding and choice.

with all my good hopes and wishes


Anonymous said...

Hi, I understand exactly your comments on sleeping/desk sitting and procrastinating. How great you volunteered as I know this can be a major step in just getting out of the house. I have found making a list and crossing it off (just like Santa!!) helps. Take care and thank you for saying exactly how I feel.